dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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