we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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