I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
