Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
