I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
