i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
