evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
