I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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