C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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