Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
