I have demons in me.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
