u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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