Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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