No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
