i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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