This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
