Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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