its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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