i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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