I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
