I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
