I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
