so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
