i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
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