im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
