Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He felt like a one man threesome
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
