We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
