I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
