ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
