So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
