i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
