Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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