I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
