Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
