before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Panties = found
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