I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think my moral compass just broke
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
