Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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