Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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