Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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