How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
