Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
