did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
