I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
