Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
