he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
