yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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