the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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