at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
