Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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