My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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