Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
