How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
