ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
