Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
