I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
it's like heaven, but drunker
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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