Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
