hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
