can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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